So when you’re with your friends, you find it effortlessly easy to hold a conversation. You are able to make them laugh, you have the ability to share anecdotes in a way that maintains their complete attention and full focus.
This makes it even more FRUSTRATING for you, when you see a girl you like, and you find yourself with either having nothing interesting to say to her, or are unable to keep the conversation going with her for longer than a few minutes.
Everyone gets nervous sometimes, and it’s those nerves that literally make our minds go blank!
So before I share with you the 5 rules to maintaining a great conversation with a girl you want to be with or sleep with, you are going to have take control of your state of mind before saying even a single word to her.
You see, if you’re nervous then the rules I am about to share with you will be difficult for you to remember, and if you think you can rely on good old improvisation, FORGET IT! Nerves combined with a stressful state of mind, instantly put a huge block on that creative side of your mind.
If you want to find out the many methods myself and my team of instructors have in dealing with stress and nerves, and that can help you achieve a positive and clam mind set, follow these useful links which will take you to our large collection of videos and blog posts that focus on ‘creating a powerful and stress free mind set’
So here are the 5 rules you need in order to possess the power to talk to girls successfully!
RULE 1
Choose your questions wisely.
Often men end up asking a series of uninspiring questions which lead to ,as I like to call them ,‘dead end’ answers.
Such as:
“Do you like this club?”
“Who are you here with?”
“Have you come here before?”
This results in making the girl feel bored, and because they lead to one word answers, you will soon find yourself stuck in the dreaded ‘interrogation mode’.
Make sure that your questions are open ended, inspiring, and are limited.
If you ask too many questions, you might feel that it’s keeping the conversation flowing, but in reality, its just buying some extra time before she makes her excuses and leaves.
Every time she answers a question, make sure you respond with either an opinion, a statement, a fact or a story, or a question that makes a strong impact on her.
Such as:
“Do you like this club?”
“Who are you here with?”
“Have you come here before?”
This results in making the girl feel bored, and because they lead to one word answers, you will soon find yourself stuck in the dreaded ‘interrogation mode’.
Make sure that your questions are open ended, inspiring, and are limited.
If you ask too many questions, you might feel that it’s keeping the conversation flowing, but in reality, its just buying some extra time before she makes her excuses and leaves.
Every time she answers a question, make sure you respond with either an opinion, a statement, a fact or a story, or a question that makes a strong impact on her.
Here is a great example:
If a girl tells you she is from a country that you are not familiar with. rather than ask her a predictable questions such as “where abouts are your from in that country?”
Respond back with:
Respond back with:
“I heard lots of people say thats a cool place to visit, tell me three things that make it such an awesome place”
automatically she will hand you three NEW hooks that you can go with and even come back to later on, and PLUS those three points will reveal a lot more about herself than she realizes. Further more, she will LOVE answering this particular question.
automatically she will hand you three NEW hooks that you can go with and even come back to later on, and PLUS those three points will reveal a lot more about herself than she realizes. Further more, she will LOVE answering this particular question.
Just watch her eyes light up when you as her it.
RULE 2
Own a silence!
Men are often scared of ‘uncomfortable silences’ and in order to avoid them, they proceed to fill up the silences with a lot of crap. Instead, revel in the silences and have complete confidence in them. When you are able to do this, you will find girls are far more likely to make more of an effort. The silences are there for her to put more effort in the conversation, so stop rushing to fill them up with a nervous laugh or a lame question, which will make her complacent will have her just sitting back and expecting you to do all the work.
A man who is comfortable with silences always demonstrates a certain amount of strength.
RULE 3.
Stop being a head nodder!
How often do you find yourself agreeing with everything she says ( even when you don’t actually agree) Have you ever caught yourself nodding your head like a good little boy to every bullshit opinion she has? Believe it or not, women can not stand a man who hides his opinions and points of views because it is ALWAYS so boring!
You have probably been told by someone that women look for men who agree with them on everything, but this is NOT true.
We adore men who can challenge us, who can show us another point of view, who possesses the power to force us to reflect on our own views and opinions, and who can leave their own stamp and identity on our lives.
We adore men who can challenge us, who can show us another point of view, who possesses the power to force us to reflect on our own views and opinions, and who can leave their own stamp and identity on our lives.
RULE 4
Make a connection
When I say make a connection, this does NOT mean you have to find something in common with her. Women are attracted to men who can connect with them on an emotional level rather than just a superficial one. She will NOT be attracted to you just because you too like to go to the gym or you also like to make cup cakes! Or because you both like the same movie.
Although having things in common can INITIALLY help keep the conversation moving, it does not necessarily mean that you are going to be making much impact on her, and if you rely too heavily on ‘throw away’ chit chat or small talk, you will find the interaction will start thinning out pretty quickly.
Connect with her by getting past her mask ( all us girls wear one) Find out WHY she feels the way she does about her job, her hobbies and her interests. Explore her emotional mind rather than just her logical one.
RULE 5
Listen!
Yep, that’s what women have been nagging men about for thousands of years, but here’s the thing; the more you listen, the more hooks you can pick up on, and the more hooks you have, the easier it is for you to to build up a conversation with her.
A guy is often so nervous and stuck in his head that he literally misses all the brilliant hooks she is handing him.
A guy is often so nervous and stuck in his head that he literally misses all the brilliant hooks she is handing him.
The girl also needs proof that you are indeed listening, so you can’t simply just nod your head and hope for the best, you will HAVE TO respond to her verbally too.
Conversation skills are my main speciality. I have helped thousands of men to achieve the skills that enables them to talk to any girl they wish, regardless of whether she is shy, non-responsive, difficult, alpha, intelligent or super confident , and regardless of what the circumstances are. It could be in a coffee shop, the street, a store, a night club, a bar or a party.